Samuel Vargo: Nobody's Pretty Boy (fiction)
A jab, then another. I deflect a left hook with my right shoulder and shuffle back. The drab green closes in on me: ominous jaws like those of an alligator. Such ugly draperies and wall coverings around this nightclub basement! As foreboding as fungi! All of this swallows me. I fall back, unable to breath. Sweat is pouring out. I can’t see. Another pop. A quick jab, then an uppercut. I can’t hear the crowd. Every five seconds goes by like five hours after the eighth round.
When’s
the bell?
Today
I looked in the mirror at my scarred face. I’m
ugly, I said to myself, damned ugly.
I never want to be nobody’s pretty boy—no, no, not that—but I’m looking like a
monster. My little niece is scared of me. Calls
me the boogieman. Now that’s ugly. My old man wanted me to join the
Marines. So what did I do after graduation? I joined a boxing gym and got a job
delivering pizza. Now I’m a nickel-and-dime boxer fighting these fourth-rate
venues. I’ll never be rich, no, not by a longshot; not even locally famous. At
least some of the regulars I deliver pizza to know my name. Maybe I’ll still
join the Marines.
Tiger
Taylor takes a jab and counters with a hook. I move my head right, then left, then
in a circles. Head movement’s not for
defense, it’s for offense. My hands free, I hit him with two quick jabs and
an uppercut. This heavyweight’s wily and
experienced. So is he, but he’s petering out, sounding like a locomotive. He
falls back, on the ropes. I shuffle quickly in and start jabbing a fusillade of
jabs, then smash him with a right hook and a left uppercut. He falls back,
caught by the ropes.
The
bell rings.
Another five or ten seconds and it
would’ve been a KO, at least a TKO.
“Where’s
your energy?” my trainer, Rollin’ Joe Thigpen yells as I sit on my stool in the
red corner. “What’s happening to you? You’ve gotta get your breathin’ down
better, boy! In through your nose, out through your mouth. In through your
nose, out through your mouth. Got it? Simple’s that. He’s taller and has reach.
Don’t let him in. Don’t let—”
The
bell rings.
I
languidly take small shuffles. I try to conserve as much energy as I can. I see
Rollin’ Joe yelling something, waving his arms around, but I can’t hear. Later in the round I’ll finish Tiger Taylor.
He charges like angry bullock, but he’s out of control and clumsy. I smash him
with a right hook and a left uppercut. Those
green walls are so ugly and menacing! I can hear the crowd, sounding like
demons. Oh, I look so damned ugly! Nothing but scar tissue and bruises covering
old scabs! He’s moving around like a ruptured gorilla. The good thing about
heavyweights is they slumber. Lighter-weight boxers jump around like schizophrenics
on methamphetamine.
I
pop Taylor with a combination of three quick jabs, rolling my head out of the
way when he fires a strong right hook. My
hair’s even thinning! I’m only 28 and I’m going bald! What in the hell’s
the matter? The girls from work are here. That
redhead I’m crazy about might have shown up, too. I don’t know. I hope so. The shouts from ringside
sound like inimical crows feeding on fermented corn in a muddy field. These spectators are as nasty as those drapes
and wall coverings. My car has over 100,000 miles on it. It’s a beater and
so am I. It’s so damned hard making a buck these days. I’m doing this for extra cash? I could get killed by one of these
monsters! Tiger Taylor’s gaining strength and energy. I’ve got to thwart
this. I shuffle in, jab him with the old 1-2 and then get in a good uppercut.
He falls against the ropes and I charge like a snapping police dog. I’m ready
to finish him—
The
bell rings.
“Why’d
you wait so long to start fighting? You gotta end this in the tenth. It can’t
go any longer. What’s set is set. I don’t know what’s happenin’ here, but it’s
not `sposed to!” Rollin’ Joe yells, his dark purple lips and onyx face snarling
at me as I try to relax on that stupid little stool. All I see is black and feldgrau.
The
bell rings.
Why did I get a black manager and why’d
I join a black gym? I’m Irish, for chrissakes! Tiger Taylor
shuffles slowly around the ring, looking like a big wet dog that’s spent a week
in the woods. He’s tired and dazed. Probably couldn’t fight a bag lady now. Ten
seconds into the tenth and it feels like ten hours since the bell. Too much hair loss! Too many scars!
Those poor girls at work have to see my abominable phiz? Tiger Taylor shuffles
in, managing a scowl over his lips, his pearly whites clenched onto an orange
mouthguard. Purple lips, glistening black
skin, traces of red blood oozing in little rivulets down his face. A cut above
his right eye. He’s ugly. No man his age should be that ugly. What’s he, 25
or 26? But I’m uglier, if there are degrees of ugliness.
Tiger
Taylor takes his last bit of stamina and starts swinging erratically, like a
farm boy slinging mud against a barn, hoping some of it sticks. I dodge most of
this barrage of banal blows just by ducking and moving my head back and forth.
With both hands free, I wait for an opening and with Tiger out of steam, all
his lottery tickets scratched, he’s left wide open. I hit him with three jabs.
Then a right hook and an uppercut.
He
tumbles like a felled tree.
All
I see is hideous dark green.
Nothing’s
won.
Sam Vargo has
written poetry and short stories for print and online literary magazines,
university journals and a few commercial magazines. He worked most of his adult
life as a newspaper reporter, and was fiction editor of Pig Iron Press,
Youngstown, Ohio, for 12 years. A collection of his short stories, Electric
Onion Head and the Rotating Cyclops of the Month, was published by Literary Road and had a web presence for five years.
His poetry and fiction have appeared in Connecticut Review, Late Knocking, Ohio
Teachers Write, Word Riot, and other presses and literary journals.